Prologue Reading for Today

About the misfortune of those who come to Christ and then apostatize from Him

“For if after they have escaped the pollution’s of the world through the knowledge of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, they are again entangled therein, and overcome, the latter end is worse with them then the beginning” (2 Peter 2:20).

Brethren, bright is the sun but brighter still are the words of the apostle. Brethren, the sun illumines bodies but it cannot illumine souls, while the apostolic words illumine the souls. The apostle clearly sees the heights and depths of a soul and he illumines it for us out of fervent love, in order to lead us on the pure path of salvation. In a few words, he gives us two great instructions. The first instruction: one cannot flee from the impurity of this world in any other way except through the knowledge of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. First of all, without knowledge of the Lord Jesus one is unable to see or to know the impurity of this world, and second, man is unable to be cleansed from this impurity without the knowledge of the Lord Jesus. The second instruction: when man flees from the impurity of this world by knowing the Lord Jesus and, again, becomes entangled in it, then for him “the latter end is worse than the beginning.” For knowing the light, he again returns into the darkness and the darkness becomes even darker, and, recognizing justice, he again sinks into injustice and his punishment is more severe; and recognizing holiness he again falls into beastliness and the animal is still more furious. The holy apostle does not hesitate to equate this turning back with a dog who returns to his own vomit and with the sow, who having been washed returns to wallow in the mire.

Whoever recognized the Lord Jesus Christ also recognized all that is needed for his salvation; he received a binocular to see the impurity, lies and injustice and received the power to flee from all of that. Therefore let him not turn back so that eternal death does not swallow him up. Let him not tempt God countless times. For if God was quick to save him the first time He will be slower the second time, and even slower the third time. My brethren, illuminating are the apostolic words.

O Lord Jesus, Savior, Almighty and All-Good, do not depart from us in the hours of our weaknesses and deliver us when the impurities of this world again draw us to themselves.

To You be glory and thanks always. Amen.

Why Belief?

**Proceed with caution if you are in a state of suffering currently.  I am afraid that I am processing things after the fact, and may make things worse for those who are still “in the thick of it”**

Walking in to the Stable

I am currently listening to The Chronicles of Narnia The Last Battle on my way to work, and just came to the part where Rilian meets the kings and queens as well as the false god Tash in the Stable on Stable Hill.  I was struck by how profoundly Lewis puts his point here, as only fiction is capable of doing for us.

This little light of mine

Yesterday was Palm Sunday.  In the Orthodox Church we have the habit of marching around the church on important days, and on really important ones we all carry candles.  This was one of those days.

The wind was blowing off and on, but quite forcefully, as Emmy, Bella, Liliana, Erin, my Mom and I walked.  Every couple minutes one or more of us would say, “aw it got me,” or some variation on the theme.  The candles were blowing out.  Emmy did the best, hers only went out once, a thing she was quite proud of.

It occurred to me though, that this was another one of these “life sized parables.”  We are given families to relight our candles.  Each time one candle went out, someone else could light it, and I just couldn’t help but notice how true it is throughout my life.  Thought I might share it with you too.

Learning to be 5

After putting Emmy to bed last night she quietly and politely asked if she could come to listen to my prayers. “Of course,” I said, and she came quietly to the child gate we keep at her doorway to keep her little sister from wondering the house while we are asleep. Even though she knows how to open it, she sat quietly as I read from the Psalter and prayed along.

When I was done she asked if she could sit with me while I read. “No Emmy, I don’t think that is a very good idea,” I replied, at which she began to question my decision. Eventually she couldn’t take no any longer, and began to cry, “I just want to cuddle.”

Now I am not heartless, and I wanted to let her out from the beginning, but something told me that she was very, very tired. Also, her little sister, who could go to sleep at 8 if hr big sister would ever let her, would have wanted to come out too. 9:30 is far too late for little B to be out of bed. I had to say no for her own good, and for the good of her little sister.

She cried and cried sitting at her spot in the gate. I could hardly watch and stay my course but I did. I was reading the Book of Joshua, and it occurred to me that this was a living parable. There she sat, crying and pleading that her daddy would allow her to join him in his evening rituals. She was not necessarily being patient, by any means, but she was actively seeking me and my heart was moved with compassion and a real desire to let her enjoy a cuddle before she headed off to sleep. This was to be the position of my soul before God.

Do I wait and the gate and plead with Him with true desire? Or, do I choose the path of instant gratification, seeking my own way for its own sake, and instead of pleading to join Him from love, turn to a way of life that I am in charge of? Do I seek Him out of total love and devotion so much so that when he is distant I can do nothing but sorrow?

On the other hand, is he like I was in this scenario? Willing and ready to grant the request as far as He is concerned, but knowledgeable of the danger that would pose for my well-being. Is God’s heart moved when I plead, though He must deny my request out of love? Does He hear, but gird up His heart (so to speak), in order to direct me to the things that are good for me awaiting the time when he will, in fact, let me in?

At the end of the ordeal I called Emmy to me. She came out of the gate, sniffling but joyful. “Emmy, I wanted to let you out, but I couldn’t,” I explained, “because I thought you were too tired. Actually, I was going to let you come cuddle if you played quietly in your bed until your sister was asleep. Then, I would know you weren’t really tired, and your sister wouldn’t be kept up by you leaving her room. Your crying proved that I was right, and that you are too tired right now. Go back to bed, and I will see you in the morning.”

God handles me better than I handle my daughter for certain, but is this one of those life-size parables?

God Raised Him Up

I find myself flying from pole to pole in my spiritual life. At once I am motivated, captivated, and in love with Christ, the world, my friends and family, and the saints and angels.  At another moment I find myself devoid of it all, and convinced that I cannot continue on the path that I once was determined to travel.  It is a lack of faith to be sure, but it is also the nature of a man plagued by the past and disappointments of my former life.

Often as I read the Psalms I find myself able to identify with Israel and her struggles and failures, as one person embodying in my fractured self the life of this ancient kingdom.  In me I can find the prophets that speak of the law, of the covenant of my baptism, of the love and severity of God, and in me I can find the fractured sufferers of a kingdom ruled by false prophets, priests and kings.  I am a divided kingdom.  Good kings come and go, and at the root is a fractured soul routed by enemies both within and without.

Today my reading schedule put me in Acts 2 where I read this, “This Man, delivered over by the predetermined plan and foreknowledge of God, you nailed to a cross by the hands of godless men and put Him to death. But God raised Him up again, putting an end to the agony of death, since it was impossible for Him to be held in its power.”  This passage describes well the life of my own soul and the salvation that I long for by faith.

I have been baptized and have received the communion of the Holy Spirit by the grace of God the Father and through the loving-kindness of His eternal Son.  Still, I find myself grieving Him in my inner life.  I cause Him to suffer in me many losses and to suffer with me in the deepest sense of the word.  I have nailed Him to the cross and I have put Him to death.

On the other hand, it is the power of God in which I hope.  Because “God raised Him up again, putting an end to the agony of death, since it was impossible for Him to be held in its power.”  My sin is not capable of routing Christ in my life.  Obviously there is free will, and I am free to deny Him and he will leave as asked, but there is hope in the faith, no matter the amount or strength, that Christ will not be routed from my struggle or lose in my inner battle so long as I hope in Him.  I may suffer all kinds of loss, but He will not lose ground.  Why do I have this hope? Because it is not possible for Him to be held by its power.

He will be faithful, though I be faithless, for it is not possible that He should be held by the power of any sin in anyone.  To God be the praise and glory forever!

Getting Saved

One of the things that I have had a personal loathing for throughout my life is the way the word “saved” is used in modern American conversation.  Specifically, I mean the way Christians use it.  I can’t remember how many times I have heard that our job is to preach the gospel so people can “be saved.”  I have no problem with the notion that Christ saves people through the preaching of the gospel, my problem has always been the air of superiority that accompanies it.  I think there is that danger in my previous article as well.

Be baptized and you will be saved

When I first learned of Orthodoxy, one of the hardest issues to come to terms with was the Orthodox doctrine of salvation.  Specifically, I remember I couldn’t understand what in the world the writers were getting at.  I was simply confused.  They talked about heaven, but not as the place where “salvation” happens, and they talked about the church as the “Ark of Salvation” and said that many may not make it to heaven.  To boot, they talked about Baptism saving souls, and then talked about how few would make it tot he kingdom of heaven.  Then to cap the whole thing off, Orthodox writers spoke about saints who enjoyed heaven in the present, but seemed to take up the assumption that most of us would never attain to the heights of this beatitude.  So what gives?

Friends

A friend of mine asked me to sync my facebook with my blog.   Well John, here it is.  Thank you for your encouragement, and reading my ramblings.

Suffering & the Christian Walk

Last night I watched an interview with Metropolitan Anthony Bloom, which I had seen before, and something new struck me.  He mentioned that suffering is not inherently redemptive, and, in fact, can be a personal hell.  It is when a person takes suffering on themselves on behalf of another, or suffers because of their love for another, that this suffering becomes a profitable suffering, a redemptive suffering.

It occurred to me, as I was listening to Matins this morning, that the temptation that the Christian undergoes,the struggle that he has, and the defeats that he suffers from time to time are , in fact, redemptive in as much as they are suffered because of our love for Christ.  When we pursue Christ for self-help we close off the circuit and short-circuit the system, as it were, thereby turning our struggle into a personal hell.  On the other hand, in the moments when we seek a particular course out of love for Christ, or another person, then the circuit opens and the suffering and sacrifice becomes redemptive.

Any sin that we may commit, if we are willing to lay it down for the sake of the world (for Christ indirectly) or for Christ (directly), that sacrifice and subsequent struggle that ensues as we dislodge ourselves (or Christ in us dislodges us) becomes a redemptive, life-giving struggle.  So if a man lays down a pornography habit because he wants to be a better man, this, though commendable perhaps, may not have the redemptive quality that laying it down for his wife, children, or out of a deeper respect for women in general would have.  Seeking a kinder disposition because we are unhappy with our way, is not redemptive, though it may help us become more “positive”.  If we seek a kinder disposition because we are desirous to not damage others as we have, or because we want to show those around us our love instead of our discontent, or because we want to emulate someone we love, is redemptive for us and for others.  The difference is love.

Whether this is the Metropolitan’s point I am not sure, judge for yourselves.  But, as I thought on it today, I wanted to put it somewhere I would not forget it.